1 00:00:02,306 --> 00:00:04,046 ? 2 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Do you want subtitles for any video? -=[ ai.OpenSubtitles.com ]=- 3 00:00:29,594 --> 00:00:32,336 We've arrived in the Portelo system, Captain. 4 00:00:32,379 --> 00:00:34,207 Any idea what we're supposed to be doing? 5 00:00:34,251 --> 00:00:36,775 Starfleet was unusually tight-lipped on the details. 6 00:00:36,818 --> 00:00:39,386 The whole mission's classified. 7 00:00:39,430 --> 00:00:40,605 Take us in. 8 00:00:42,781 --> 00:00:44,565 MARINER: I wonder what the big mystery is. 9 00:00:44,609 --> 00:00:46,698 Ugh, I hope it's not a Romulan Neutral Zone thing. 10 00:00:46,741 --> 00:00:47,873 Spy stuff's so boring. 11 00:00:47,916 --> 00:00:50,049 - [device trills] - Uh, ah, ah, man. 12 00:00:50,093 --> 00:00:52,486 Whatever it is, I have to start with holodeck waste removal. 13 00:00:52,530 --> 00:00:53,681 - Blech. - TENDI: I don't know, 14 00:00:53,705 --> 00:00:54,856 but I can't wait to find out with you. 15 00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:56,925 'Sup, ladies? How's science? 16 00:00:56,969 --> 00:00:59,754 We just catalogued some pretty cool hydrogen samples. 17 00:00:59,798 --> 00:01:02,670 Hydrogen is the most common element in the universe. 18 00:01:02,714 --> 00:01:04,324 Sweet. See you guys at lunch. 19 00:01:04,368 --> 00:01:07,066 Boimler, make sure you shower first. Holodeck duty. 20 00:01:07,110 --> 00:01:09,329 Your odor will be repulsive. 21 00:01:09,373 --> 00:01:11,375 Oh, thank you so much, T'Lyn. 22 00:01:11,418 --> 00:01:12,985 You are welcome. 23 00:01:16,249 --> 00:01:18,076 - [grunts] - Oh-ho-ho. 24 00:01:18,121 --> 00:01:20,427 Don't get too used to this kind of work, Mr. Boimler. 25 00:01:20,471 --> 00:01:23,387 Promotions are coming up, and I think you'll be very happy. 26 00:01:23,430 --> 00:01:25,171 Wait, really? I-I... [clears throat] 27 00:01:25,215 --> 00:01:27,042 I'm getting a promotion? 28 00:01:27,086 --> 00:01:28,783 As long as nothing goes sideways today, 29 00:01:28,826 --> 00:01:30,350 you'll be a lieutenant junior grade. 30 00:01:30,394 --> 00:01:32,700 - But stuff always goes sideways. - Relax. 31 00:01:32,744 --> 00:01:34,939 You'd have to screw up in a historically significant way 32 00:01:34,963 --> 00:01:37,227 - to mess this one up. - Okay, yeah. 33 00:01:37,270 --> 00:01:39,664 What are the odds of that? [laughs] Oh, oh! 34 00:01:39,707 --> 00:01:41,013 [yelps] 35 00:01:41,056 --> 00:01:42,536 Uh... [whimpers] 36 00:01:47,411 --> 00:01:50,326 Approaching the mystery station, Captain. 37 00:01:50,370 --> 00:01:52,198 I hope this isn't a Romulan thing. 38 00:01:52,242 --> 00:01:54,853 - I hate the Neutral Zone. - Right? Thank you. 39 00:01:54,896 --> 00:01:57,290 Sorry for the secrecy, Captain, 40 00:01:57,334 --> 00:01:59,466 but after all these years, we finally finished. 41 00:01:59,510 --> 00:02:02,861 [clears throat] Beljo Tweekle, curator and historian. 42 00:02:02,904 --> 00:02:05,516 Curator? What, are we transporting some type of art? 43 00:02:05,559 --> 00:02:07,399 [scoffs] Perhaps the most beautiful work of art 44 00:02:07,431 --> 00:02:08,867 in Starfleet history. 45 00:02:13,741 --> 00:02:17,049 [gasps] Oh, my God, we get to do something on Voyager? 46 00:02:17,092 --> 00:02:20,183 Uh, you know, 'cause, I mean, Boimler's gonna flip. [chuckles] 47 00:02:26,406 --> 00:02:28,408 ? 48 00:02:57,481 --> 00:02:59,483 ? 49 00:03:29,077 --> 00:03:31,079 ? 50 00:03:35,562 --> 00:03:40,088 FREEMAN: Captain's log, stardate 58724.. 51 00:03:40,132 --> 00:03:42,134 In a pleasant surprise, theCerritos has been tasked 52 00:03:42,177 --> 00:03:45,572 with transporting the USSVoyager. 53 00:03:45,616 --> 00:03:48,314 Captain Janeway and her crew spent seven years 54 00:03:48,358 --> 00:03:50,447 trying to get home from the Delta Quadrant, 55 00:03:50,490 --> 00:03:54,364 and they became Federation history in the process. 56 00:03:54,407 --> 00:03:57,062 Since their return, Voyager has been decommissioned 57 00:03:57,105 --> 00:04:00,108 and preserved for future generations. 58 00:04:00,152 --> 00:04:02,502 Her first stop is Starfleet Command, 59 00:04:02,546 --> 00:04:04,001 where she'll spend some time on the ground 60 00:04:04,025 --> 00:04:05,549 before being permanently 61 00:04:05,592 --> 00:04:07,072 - stationed in orbit. - [yelps] 62 00:04:07,115 --> 00:04:08,856 - [grunts] - CURATOR: Careful. 63 00:04:08,900 --> 00:04:10,510 That's a mission-worn uniform. 64 00:04:10,554 --> 00:04:13,687 My legacy depends on everything making it to Earth 65 00:04:13,731 --> 00:04:15,385 in pristine condition. 66 00:04:15,428 --> 00:04:17,865 Unzak, when he guided the florkas to their roost. 67 00:04:17,909 --> 00:04:20,564 Whatever. Just don't touch anything. 68 00:04:20,607 --> 00:04:22,522 - Oopsie-doodle. - CURATOR: What are you doing? 69 00:04:22,566 --> 00:04:24,655 Just taking a peek at the bio-neural circuitry. 70 00:04:24,698 --> 00:04:26,352 One time, Neelix had this cheese, 71 00:04:26,396 --> 00:04:27,721 and the bacteria almost destroyed... 72 00:04:27,745 --> 00:04:29,834 I know all about the Neelix cheese. 73 00:04:29,877 --> 00:04:31,662 There's a whole display for it on Deck Seven. 74 00:04:31,705 --> 00:04:33,228 Don't open panels. 75 00:04:33,272 --> 00:04:35,056 The ship was damaged by cheese? 76 00:04:35,100 --> 00:04:37,624 It's Voyager. [bleep] got freaky. 77 00:04:39,887 --> 00:04:42,847 Hmm. This ship is outdated and smells like Borg. 78 00:04:42,890 --> 00:04:44,588 What about Tuvok? 79 00:04:44,631 --> 00:04:46,087 You must be excited to see his quarters. 80 00:04:46,111 --> 00:04:47,982 Perhaps. Are they austere? 81 00:04:48,026 --> 00:04:50,985 These boxes are for a rotating exhibit. 82 00:04:51,029 --> 00:04:54,641 Store them on the Cerritos, and please be careful. 83 00:04:54,685 --> 00:04:57,165 Are you chewing gum? 84 00:04:58,253 --> 00:04:59,777 TENDI: Ooh, after this, you want to get 85 00:04:59,820 --> 00:05:02,170 a head start on tomorrow's titrations with me? 86 00:05:02,214 --> 00:05:04,390 [gasps] We can label the test tubes. 87 00:05:04,434 --> 00:05:06,349 T'LYN: I do enjoy an accurate label. 88 00:05:09,308 --> 00:05:11,963 [air whistling] 89 00:05:12,006 --> 00:05:14,008 ? 90 00:05:18,448 --> 00:05:20,798 There we go, all calibrated. 91 00:05:20,841 --> 00:05:22,930 Hey, Doc, uh, want a ride back? 92 00:05:22,974 --> 00:05:24,367 [grunts] Beats taking a shuttle. 93 00:05:25,803 --> 00:05:27,737 BILLUPS: You know, growing up, I had a dragon named Fiddlesticks. 94 00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:29,110 He was such a good boy. 95 00:05:29,154 --> 00:05:30,697 He protected me from all sorts of affectionate... 96 00:05:30,721 --> 00:05:32,331 Oh [bleep]. Why is it people 97 00:05:32,375 --> 00:05:34,638 always have to tell me about their [bleep] pets? 98 00:05:34,681 --> 00:05:36,074 Right. Sorry. 99 00:05:36,117 --> 00:05:37,554 Cerritos, two to beam up. 100 00:05:37,597 --> 00:05:39,477 LUNDY [over comms]: Copy, Commander. Energizing. 101 00:05:40,905 --> 00:05:43,255 - [computer trills] - Something is wrong, sir. 102 00:05:43,298 --> 00:05:45,562 - There's only one pattern. - [gasps] 103 00:05:45,605 --> 00:05:48,565 [yowls] What the [bleep]? 104 00:05:48,608 --> 00:05:50,697 Where am I? And, uh... 105 00:05:50,741 --> 00:05:52,003 who am I? 106 00:05:52,046 --> 00:05:54,875 Captain, we have a problem. 107 00:06:03,406 --> 00:06:05,799 Something over there caused Billups and Dr. T'Ana 108 00:06:05,843 --> 00:06:07,148 to merge in the transporter. 109 00:06:07,192 --> 00:06:09,673 He's calling himself T'Illups. 110 00:06:09,716 --> 00:06:12,545 This exact scenario happened to the Voyagercrew. 111 00:06:12,589 --> 00:06:15,156 Everything is falling apart! 112 00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:16,593 No need for panic. 113 00:06:16,636 --> 00:06:18,682 I'm sure I can deal with this transporter situation 114 00:06:18,725 --> 00:06:19,987 - on my own. - T'ILLUPS: Oh... 115 00:06:20,031 --> 00:06:22,686 Just send me a copy of Janeway's logs. 116 00:06:22,729 --> 00:06:24,078 I'll do whatever she did. 117 00:06:24,122 --> 00:06:26,254 Sending now. Thank you, Captain. 118 00:06:30,868 --> 00:06:33,392 She knows Janeway straight up murdered Tuvix, right? 119 00:06:33,436 --> 00:06:35,002 Huh? Oh, I-I don't know. 120 00:06:35,046 --> 00:06:36,700 What? Yes, you do. You're a know-it-all. 121 00:06:36,743 --> 00:06:37,962 Get your head in the game. 122 00:06:38,005 --> 00:06:39,790 This is a historically significant mission. 123 00:06:39,833 --> 00:06:41,182 It's Voy, man. 124 00:06:41,226 --> 00:06:43,066 I mean, it's not that historically significant. 125 00:06:43,097 --> 00:06:44,664 What? Yes, it is. 126 00:06:44,708 --> 00:06:46,666 [groans] I'm gonna make sure going to warp 127 00:06:46,710 --> 00:06:48,276 didn't knock anything over. 128 00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:50,080 We've got inertial dampeners. I'm sure everything is fine. 129 00:06:50,104 --> 00:06:53,281 It won't be fine until we're on the ground. [yells] 130 00:06:53,325 --> 00:06:56,154 Relax. They design these things to survive a photon blast. 131 00:06:56,197 --> 00:06:58,809 Oops. Uh, let me just... Wait. 132 00:06:58,851 --> 00:07:01,376 There's something behind the neural gel. [gasps] 133 00:07:01,420 --> 00:07:02,571 - [yelping, gasping] - Somebody phaser it! 134 00:07:02,595 --> 00:07:03,857 Look out! 135 00:07:03,901 --> 00:07:05,250 Oh, God, it's on me! 136 00:07:05,293 --> 00:07:06,401 Ugh, don't let it infect you. 137 00:07:06,425 --> 00:07:08,340 - Don't shoot. - Why not? 138 00:07:08,383 --> 00:07:10,211 It's a Tak Takian macrovirus. 139 00:07:10,255 --> 00:07:11,517 It must've been dormant. 140 00:07:11,561 --> 00:07:13,737 Macrovirus? Is it making me sick? 141 00:07:13,780 --> 00:07:16,174 Everyone got inoculated years ago. It can't hurt you. 142 00:07:16,217 --> 00:07:18,698 But it is perfect for the museum. 143 00:07:18,742 --> 00:07:20,961 Good virus. Just stay right there. 144 00:07:21,005 --> 00:07:23,573 Temba, his arms wide. 145 00:07:23,616 --> 00:07:24,704 [gasps] 146 00:07:26,097 --> 00:07:29,274 They're spraying DNA on my babies. 147 00:07:29,317 --> 00:07:31,363 - Don't let them off the bridge. - Right, um, so... 148 00:07:31,406 --> 00:07:32,756 Just stand in front of the door. 149 00:07:34,845 --> 00:07:35,846 [screams] 150 00:07:37,282 --> 00:07:38,738 - Boimler, are you kidding me? - Come on, man. 151 00:07:38,762 --> 00:07:40,633 Shaka, when the walls fell, Ensign. 152 00:07:40,677 --> 00:07:44,028 - Sokath, his eyes uncovered. - I pay attention. 153 00:07:44,071 --> 00:07:45,899 - [glass shatters] - [alarm blaring] 154 00:07:47,248 --> 00:07:48,922 How can you be this distracted over an empty ship? 155 00:07:48,946 --> 00:07:51,775 Uh, you know, Chakotay served here. 156 00:07:51,818 --> 00:07:54,299 Dude, this is nothing compared to, you know, that Pike thing 157 00:07:54,342 --> 00:07:55,866 we aren't supposed to talk about. 158 00:07:55,909 --> 00:07:57,911 Let's get these chunky cold sores under control 159 00:07:57,955 --> 00:07:59,783 so we can get back to enjoying this. 160 00:07:59,826 --> 00:08:01,151 RANSOM: They're self-replicating again! 161 00:08:01,175 --> 00:08:02,239 - Mr. Boimler, get out here. - [gasps] 162 00:08:02,263 --> 00:08:03,526 This is your fault. 163 00:08:05,005 --> 00:08:07,138 T'ILLUPS: I told you, I feel [bleep] great. 164 00:08:07,181 --> 00:08:08,966 Here, let me boost the range on that scanner. 165 00:08:09,009 --> 00:08:10,968 He's been symbiogenetically merged 166 00:08:11,011 --> 00:08:12,796 on a subcellular level, Captain. 167 00:08:12,839 --> 00:08:14,972 It's called being Tuvixed. 168 00:08:15,015 --> 00:08:16,756 The same thing happened to Commander Tuvok 169 00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:17,907 and Neelix back in the '70s. 170 00:08:17,931 --> 00:08:19,367 They beamed out with this flower, 171 00:08:19,411 --> 00:08:21,239 and it caused them to merge into Tuvix, 172 00:08:21,282 --> 00:08:23,458 a combination of their DNA and memories. 173 00:08:23,502 --> 00:08:25,896 [gasps] That orchid was in one of the boxes we moved. 174 00:08:25,939 --> 00:08:27,854 It must've gotten into the transporter. 175 00:08:27,898 --> 00:08:30,422 And that's how T'Illups was born. 176 00:08:30,465 --> 00:08:33,773 Captain, I caution against socializing with the organism. 177 00:08:33,817 --> 00:08:36,341 Organism? [scoffs] I'm a totally unique sentient being. 178 00:08:36,384 --> 00:08:37,690 Plus, I'm cool as [bleep]. 179 00:08:37,734 --> 00:08:39,169 We're gonna be best friends fast. 180 00:08:39,212 --> 00:08:41,302 Yeah, T'Lyn, it doesn't hurt to be friendly, 181 00:08:41,346 --> 00:08:43,783 since Mr. T'Illups didn't ask to be created. 182 00:08:43,827 --> 00:08:45,045 Sure didn't, but here I am. 183 00:08:45,089 --> 00:08:47,395 I love being alive. 184 00:08:47,439 --> 00:08:49,702 Well, I'm sure that Janeway had a solution to this. 185 00:08:49,746 --> 00:08:51,356 [chuckles] I'll be back shortly. 186 00:08:52,575 --> 00:08:55,142 How many physical memories 187 00:08:55,186 --> 00:08:57,492 do you have from before? 188 00:08:59,538 --> 00:09:01,845 [gasping, whimpering] 189 00:09:01,888 --> 00:09:03,455 Don't let them touch the exhibits! 190 00:09:03,498 --> 00:09:04,891 No! 191 00:09:06,153 --> 00:09:07,502 [computer trills] 192 00:09:07,546 --> 00:09:09,679 COMPUTER: Initiating programs Chaotica, 193 00:09:09,722 --> 00:09:11,376 Clown and Michael Sullivan. 194 00:09:11,419 --> 00:09:13,900 Safety protocols set to random. 195 00:09:13,944 --> 00:09:16,163 Random? No. Computer, set them to safety. 196 00:09:16,207 --> 00:09:19,297 - Ooh. [laughs] - Surrender now, 197 00:09:19,340 --> 00:09:21,995 or face the wrath of Chaotica. 198 00:09:22,039 --> 00:09:23,867 [panting, whimpering] 199 00:09:23,910 --> 00:09:25,520 These are, like, Voy'sdeepest cuts. 200 00:09:25,564 --> 00:09:27,479 Not as deep as my cuts. Yah! 201 00:09:27,522 --> 00:09:29,307 - [laughs] - [grunts] 202 00:09:30,613 --> 00:09:33,093 [grunts] How are these guys even getting off the holodeck? 203 00:09:33,137 --> 00:09:35,313 I installed holo-emitters all over the ship. 204 00:09:35,356 --> 00:09:37,184 I thought you were preserving, not adding. 205 00:09:37,228 --> 00:09:39,752 Oh, subtle updates that don't impact historical consistency 206 00:09:39,796 --> 00:09:42,755 are an acceptable compromise for conservation. 207 00:09:42,799 --> 00:09:44,061 Wha... Chaotica isn't subtle, 208 00:09:44,104 --> 00:09:45,889 and the Clown wasn't even a holodeck pro... 209 00:09:45,932 --> 00:09:47,368 [moans] 210 00:09:47,412 --> 00:09:49,501 I love you, but I can't be with you. 211 00:09:49,544 --> 00:09:50,609 Ooh, I like this guy, though. 212 00:09:50,633 --> 00:09:52,852 [Clown laughing] 213 00:09:52,896 --> 00:09:54,158 - [panting] - [others gasp] 214 00:09:54,201 --> 00:09:56,290 - Watch out! The Borg display! - I got it! 215 00:09:56,333 --> 00:09:57,683 [screams] 216 00:09:59,380 --> 00:10:00,468 [whimpers, screams] 217 00:10:02,470 --> 00:10:03,950 That promotion is starting to seem 218 00:10:03,994 --> 00:10:06,170 a little less likely, Mr. Boimler. 219 00:10:06,213 --> 00:10:08,346 - [sighs] - [curator screaming] 220 00:10:13,307 --> 00:10:14,874 Did Janeway figure it out? 221 00:10:14,918 --> 00:10:16,920 No, she just murdered him. 222 00:10:16,963 --> 00:10:18,332 [stammers] There has to be more to it. 223 00:10:18,356 --> 00:10:20,880 She isolated the genomes and split 'em up. 224 00:10:20,924 --> 00:10:22,316 He begged her to live. 225 00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:25,058 Holy [bleep]. Janeway didn't mess around. 226 00:10:25,102 --> 00:10:26,930 [sighs] I don't want to kill the guy. 227 00:10:26,973 --> 00:10:28,453 I mean, he didn't do anything wrong. 228 00:10:28,496 --> 00:10:30,411 We aren't stranded in the Delta Quadrant. 229 00:10:30,455 --> 00:10:32,326 We could take him to Earth and get some help. 230 00:10:32,370 --> 00:10:34,067 Good call. Let's hurry. 231 00:10:34,111 --> 00:10:36,809 Captain, do you think Dr. T'Ana will be okay? 232 00:10:36,853 --> 00:10:39,029 [sighs] I think so, but it didn't take us long 233 00:10:39,072 --> 00:10:40,900 to look up Janeway's solution. 234 00:10:40,944 --> 00:10:43,337 Let's just hope Mr. T'Illups doesn't do the same. 235 00:10:43,381 --> 00:10:45,600 Are you [bleep] kidding me? 236 00:10:52,695 --> 00:10:55,219 Dr. Migleemo, I need your help, uh, 237 00:10:55,262 --> 00:10:56,960 processing my existence. 238 00:10:57,003 --> 00:10:58,459 MIGLEEMO [over comms]: Oh, what a dream. 239 00:10:58,483 --> 00:11:01,181 Don't do any self-care until I get there. 240 00:11:01,225 --> 00:11:03,880 CURATOR: Help! [screams] Help! 241 00:11:03,923 --> 00:11:06,273 I can feel it trying to regenerate me. 242 00:11:06,317 --> 00:11:08,623 Uh, maybe if I cut power, we can... [screams] 243 00:11:08,667 --> 00:11:10,016 Stop helping, Ensign Boimler. 244 00:11:10,060 --> 00:11:11,583 Why don't you take a break. 245 00:11:11,626 --> 00:11:12,932 [grunting] 246 00:11:14,586 --> 00:11:17,241 The alcove's activated. Look. 247 00:11:17,284 --> 00:11:19,678 MARINER: What the hell is that? 248 00:11:19,722 --> 00:11:22,202 RUTHERFORD: It's a Borg nanite. We must have missed one. 249 00:11:23,943 --> 00:11:25,138 BOIMLER: It's supposed to be microscopic. 250 00:11:25,162 --> 00:11:27,120 It must have assimilated to the macrovirus. 251 00:11:27,164 --> 00:11:29,122 RANSOM: It's a macro-nanite? 252 00:11:29,166 --> 00:11:31,777 - [Clowns laughing] - Congratulations. 253 00:11:31,821 --> 00:11:33,779 You've won more Clowns. 254 00:11:33,823 --> 00:11:35,433 I can't resist your touch. 255 00:11:35,476 --> 00:11:36,782 - Let me hold you. - Computer! 256 00:11:36,826 --> 00:11:37,977 Delete this guy. Come on, computer. 257 00:11:38,001 --> 00:11:40,960 - [laughing] - [screams] 258 00:11:41,004 --> 00:11:42,483 [whimpers] 259 00:11:45,225 --> 00:11:48,098 We just want to talk, Mr. T'Illups. 260 00:11:48,141 --> 00:11:49,902 T'ILLUPS: I don't think so. You're gonna kill me. 261 00:11:49,926 --> 00:11:53,016 I promise you I'm not killing anyone, 262 00:11:53,059 --> 00:11:54,365 but I am coming in. 263 00:11:54,408 --> 00:11:55,888 T'ILLUPS: Help! 264 00:11:55,932 --> 00:11:57,107 She's trying to kill me! 265 00:11:57,150 --> 00:11:58,673 We're going to figure this out. 266 00:11:58,717 --> 00:12:01,067 What? I can't hear you. 267 00:12:01,111 --> 00:12:03,983 The Cerritosisn't stuck in the Delta Quadrant, 268 00:12:04,027 --> 00:12:05,898 and Starfleet has the best doctors in the... 269 00:12:05,942 --> 00:12:07,378 I know how this goes down. 270 00:12:07,421 --> 00:12:10,468 - [both gasp] - Which is why I need allies. 271 00:12:10,511 --> 00:12:12,078 [Freeman and Shaxs gasp] 272 00:12:12,122 --> 00:12:13,384 FREEMAN: No, wait! 273 00:12:13,427 --> 00:12:14,472 [screams] 274 00:12:14,515 --> 00:12:19,477 Behold, Captain Dr. Frigleeman. 275 00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:22,828 Bring me more scrumptious senior staff. 276 00:12:22,872 --> 00:12:25,048 That's an order. 277 00:12:25,091 --> 00:12:25,875 No! 278 00:12:26,919 --> 00:12:29,443 Water, room temperature. 279 00:12:29,487 --> 00:12:32,359 So, you're really okay with killing T'Illups? 280 00:12:32,403 --> 00:12:36,015 I am here to hydrate, not debate on an anomaly's agency. 281 00:12:36,059 --> 00:12:38,235 Well, I don't know. I just don't think it's ethical 282 00:12:38,278 --> 00:12:40,324 to end someone's life to get our friends back. 283 00:12:40,367 --> 00:12:42,413 I hardly know anyone here at all. 284 00:12:42,456 --> 00:12:44,763 - I am impartial. - But we're friends. 285 00:12:44,807 --> 00:12:46,330 [chuckles] Right? 286 00:12:46,373 --> 00:12:47,722 - [weapon fires] - [gasps] 287 00:12:47,766 --> 00:12:51,030 - [people screaming] - The bartender. 288 00:12:51,074 --> 00:12:52,466 Tuvix him with Lundy. 289 00:12:52,510 --> 00:12:54,033 [gasps] 290 00:12:54,077 --> 00:12:55,687 [people screaming] 291 00:12:57,123 --> 00:12:58,603 [door whooshes open] 292 00:12:58,646 --> 00:13:01,084 TENDI: He's making more hybrids. 293 00:13:01,127 --> 00:13:03,347 That appears to be an accurate assessment. 294 00:13:05,392 --> 00:13:06,785 [grunts] 295 00:13:06,829 --> 00:13:10,267 My career is ruined! 296 00:13:10,310 --> 00:13:12,312 [crying] 297 00:13:18,449 --> 00:13:21,017 [groans] Some of this stuff got in my mouth. 298 00:13:21,060 --> 00:13:23,019 I'm getting you out of here. Just hang tight. 299 00:13:23,062 --> 00:13:25,064 Dude, you don't need me. 300 00:13:25,108 --> 00:13:27,347 Did Chaotica's ray gun steal all your confidence or something? 301 00:13:27,371 --> 00:13:28,676 No, I'm just... [sighs] 302 00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:30,069 - I'm having an off day. - Ugh! 303 00:13:30,113 --> 00:13:32,115 This was supposed to be fun, and you ruined it. 304 00:13:32,158 --> 00:13:34,421 - Voyager'sjust a ship, man. - [sighs] It's not that. 305 00:13:34,465 --> 00:13:35,683 [sighs] 306 00:13:35,727 --> 00:13:37,381 Ransom was gonna promote me today, 307 00:13:37,424 --> 00:13:39,122 but I don't want it. 308 00:13:39,165 --> 00:13:40,253 What are you talking about? 309 00:13:40,297 --> 00:13:41,404 Did you eat some of that virus slime? 310 00:13:41,428 --> 00:13:43,430 I'm worried it'll be like the Titan. 311 00:13:43,474 --> 00:13:45,737 It took us months to repair our friendship. 312 00:13:45,780 --> 00:13:47,347 I... I can't do that again. 313 00:13:47,391 --> 00:13:49,262 [scoffs] This is a totally different situation. 314 00:13:49,306 --> 00:13:51,569 It's not just that. I should've believed you 315 00:13:51,612 --> 00:13:53,571 when the captain sent you to Starbase 80. 316 00:13:53,614 --> 00:13:56,226 I have bad judgment. I-I don't deserve a promotion. 317 00:13:56,269 --> 00:13:58,532 [laughs] You adorable idiot. 318 00:13:58,576 --> 00:14:00,708 I'm the one who told Ransom to promote you. 319 00:14:00,752 --> 00:14:02,188 - You did? - Yes. 320 00:14:02,232 --> 00:14:04,495 I was just keeping my mouth shut so it'd be a surprise. 321 00:14:04,538 --> 00:14:05,626 You aren't mad at me? 322 00:14:05,670 --> 00:14:07,454 No. Look, I am really touched, 323 00:14:07,498 --> 00:14:08,954 but this is why we can't keep secrets. 324 00:14:08,978 --> 00:14:11,110 One of us always ends up covered in slime. 325 00:14:11,154 --> 00:14:13,199 Yeah, and it's not coming up. 326 00:14:13,243 --> 00:14:15,985 Would you just go save the ship already? You don't need me. 327 00:14:16,028 --> 00:14:18,248 Thanks, Mariner. I'm glad we're friends. 328 00:14:19,553 --> 00:14:21,381 Ew! Did you just pat me on the head? 329 00:14:21,425 --> 00:14:23,122 Yeah, it felt weird to me, too. I'm sorry. 330 00:14:27,997 --> 00:14:31,435 You are Chondus, and you're with friends. 331 00:14:31,478 --> 00:14:33,089 This is Shabarnes and Swhale Swhalens. 332 00:14:33,132 --> 00:14:36,048 He's a combination of Steve Stevens and Matt the whale. 333 00:14:36,092 --> 00:14:38,355 I want a fish. [squeaks] 334 00:14:38,398 --> 00:14:41,880 He's not my best work, but it matters not. 335 00:14:41,924 --> 00:14:47,190 Soon, the entire [bleep] crew will be a Tuvix army! 336 00:14:47,233 --> 00:14:47,973 [gasps] 337 00:14:51,455 --> 00:14:54,327 Prepare to energize. 338 00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:57,156 We have to do something. 339 00:14:57,200 --> 00:14:59,463 I am already taking control of the transporters. 340 00:14:59,506 --> 00:15:03,119 - You can do that? - Starfleet systems are easily circumvented. 341 00:15:03,162 --> 00:15:04,772 Hey, what are you doing? 342 00:15:06,731 --> 00:15:08,124 [yowls] 343 00:15:14,478 --> 00:15:16,306 [gasps] 344 00:15:16,349 --> 00:15:20,049 You combined all of them into one big Tuvix-y meatball? 345 00:15:20,092 --> 00:15:21,398 Perhaps I could still split them 346 00:15:21,441 --> 00:15:22,921 into their individual components. 347 00:15:24,357 --> 00:15:25,576 Why isn't it working? 348 00:15:25,619 --> 00:15:27,317 I cannot isolate their genetic signatures. 349 00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:28,927 There are too many merged hybrids. 350 00:15:29,972 --> 00:15:31,016 [Tendi gasps] 351 00:15:37,588 --> 00:15:38,893 COMPUTER: Confirm new heading. 352 00:15:38,937 --> 00:15:42,114 Setting a course to Borg Cube 858779. 353 00:15:42,158 --> 00:15:43,420 Computer, cancel! 354 00:15:43,463 --> 00:15:45,117 [both laughing] 355 00:15:51,558 --> 00:15:54,126 [sighs] I miss my wife. 356 00:15:54,170 --> 00:15:55,475 [door whooshes open] 357 00:15:55,519 --> 00:15:56,911 RANSOM: Mr. Boimler. 358 00:15:56,955 --> 00:15:59,044 Zap this stuff and get me down from here. 359 00:15:59,088 --> 00:16:00,567 No time. I need an engineer. 360 00:16:02,004 --> 00:16:03,179 - [gasps] Ow. - Sorry. 361 00:16:03,222 --> 00:16:04,702 Wait! Free us, too! 362 00:16:04,745 --> 00:16:06,704 If we survive this, we're having a long talk, 363 00:16:06,747 --> 00:16:08,488 - Mr. Boim... Uh... - [door whooshes open] 364 00:16:08,532 --> 00:16:09,988 - [door whooshes shut] - BOIMLER: Okay, 365 00:16:10,012 --> 00:16:11,076 the macro bots have locked us out, 366 00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:12,512 but we need to shut down main systems. 367 00:16:12,536 --> 00:16:14,364 Um, um, uh, we got to break Voyager. 368 00:16:14,407 --> 00:16:16,496 I got to break Voyager. Ooh, I have just the thing. 369 00:16:16,540 --> 00:16:18,194 Yes, I knew you would. 370 00:16:18,237 --> 00:16:20,457 The method employed by the Voyager'sEMH can only mark 371 00:16:20,500 --> 00:16:21,893 one individual. 372 00:16:21,936 --> 00:16:24,069 High command will not be impressed with my error. 373 00:16:24,113 --> 00:16:26,245 TENDI: That scanner T'Illups suggested 374 00:16:26,289 --> 00:16:29,292 picks up all sorts of stuff, including personality traits. 375 00:16:29,335 --> 00:16:31,120 That's how we can fix this. 376 00:16:31,163 --> 00:16:33,383 I fail to see how that helps me differentiate a whale 377 00:16:33,426 --> 00:16:34,558 from Steve Stevens. 378 00:16:34,601 --> 00:16:35,994 Because you don't know them. Look. 379 00:16:36,038 --> 00:16:38,649 This area is proud, confident and a little silly. 380 00:16:38,692 --> 00:16:39,911 Oh, that's the captain. 381 00:16:39,954 --> 00:16:41,521 If I isolate genetic code 382 00:16:41,565 --> 00:16:43,175 and you mark their personalities... 383 00:16:43,219 --> 00:16:44,524 We can get everyone back. 384 00:16:44,568 --> 00:16:45,960 Why are you helping me? 385 00:16:46,004 --> 00:16:47,895 Do you not have ethical problems with this solution? 386 00:16:47,919 --> 00:16:49,703 Well, yeah, I did, but, uh, 387 00:16:49,747 --> 00:16:51,575 this is a non-sentient blob of meat, 388 00:16:51,618 --> 00:16:53,770 so I'm willing to go outside my comfort zone. [chuckles] 389 00:16:53,794 --> 00:16:55,231 I mean, for our friends. 390 00:16:55,274 --> 00:16:57,407 Hmm. Thank you. 391 00:17:06,329 --> 00:17:07,939 Are you sure this is gonna work? 392 00:17:07,982 --> 00:17:09,897 Nope, but it feels like a kooky Voyagersolution, 393 00:17:09,940 --> 00:17:11,986 - so it's worth a try. - COMPUTER: Bridge. 394 00:17:17,905 --> 00:17:20,343 - [screams, grunts] - CHAOTICA: Any last words 395 00:17:20,386 --> 00:17:24,216 before you feel the sting of my electro Luger? 396 00:17:25,261 --> 00:17:27,437 Ha! There's only one thing 397 00:17:27,479 --> 00:17:29,961 you haven't thought of, Dr. Chaotica. 398 00:17:30,004 --> 00:17:33,791 [laughs] Please, I think of everything at all times. 399 00:17:33,834 --> 00:17:36,315 [laughs] That's what you think. 400 00:17:36,359 --> 00:17:38,230 What are you babbling about, fool? 401 00:17:38,274 --> 00:17:40,232 I am not a Starfleet ensign. 402 00:17:40,276 --> 00:17:43,235 I am the son of Captain Proton. 403 00:17:43,279 --> 00:17:45,063 [gasps] No. 404 00:17:45,107 --> 00:17:46,456 [laughs] I got it. 405 00:17:46,499 --> 00:17:48,675 How could that be-be-be? 406 00:17:48,719 --> 00:17:50,286 - [glitching continues] - It's working. 407 00:17:50,329 --> 00:17:53,158 What the hell is wrong with you, Chaotica? 408 00:17:53,202 --> 00:17:56,161 COMPUTER: Alert. Bio-neural systems shutting down. 409 00:17:56,205 --> 00:17:57,467 [glitching]: Wh-Wh-Wh-What? 410 00:17:57,510 --> 00:17:58,990 Saints preserve us. 411 00:17:59,033 --> 00:18:01,253 I am full of love. 412 00:18:01,297 --> 00:18:03,081 Ooh, I'll cut off your head! 413 00:18:03,125 --> 00:18:05,692 - [screams] - [glitching laugh] 414 00:18:05,736 --> 00:18:08,086 Oh, we did it. We broke Voyager. 415 00:18:08,130 --> 00:18:10,784 What did you do to my beautiful ship? 416 00:18:10,828 --> 00:18:12,221 I used the Neelix cheese. 417 00:18:12,264 --> 00:18:14,112 It gummed up the neural network just the way it likes. 418 00:18:14,136 --> 00:18:15,920 [screams] 419 00:18:17,269 --> 00:18:19,837 [grunts] Let's get this bad boy locked up. 420 00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:22,274 We should still have time to clean before we get to Earth. 421 00:18:22,318 --> 00:18:24,494 Well done. [groans] 422 00:18:24,537 --> 00:18:28,019 Now I have to add another exhibit to the Voyagerstory. 423 00:18:28,062 --> 00:18:30,804 ? 424 00:18:43,382 --> 00:18:45,079 FREEMAN: Captain's log, supplemental. 425 00:18:45,123 --> 00:18:48,431 After an embarrassing day 426 00:18:48,474 --> 00:18:50,346 of being merged on a subcellular level 427 00:18:50,389 --> 00:18:52,391 with my senior staff, 428 00:18:52,435 --> 00:18:54,480 we are putting the awkwardness behind us 429 00:18:54,524 --> 00:18:56,395 with a promotion ceremony. 430 00:18:56,439 --> 00:18:58,702 [clears throat] Today's, uh... 431 00:18:58,745 --> 00:19:01,966 frankly bizarre series of Voyagerthemed obstacles 432 00:19:02,009 --> 00:19:06,405 only prove that you are all creative, accomplished officers. 433 00:19:06,449 --> 00:19:10,061 Commander, please announce our new lieutenant junior grades. 434 00:19:11,062 --> 00:19:12,585 RANSOM: Ensign Brad Boimler. 435 00:19:14,457 --> 00:19:16,459 [others whooping] 436 00:19:16,502 --> 00:19:17,784 Quick thinking today, Mr. Boimler. 437 00:19:17,808 --> 00:19:18,852 Thank you, sir. 438 00:19:20,463 --> 00:19:24,336 - Provisional Ensign T'Lyn. - [others whooping] 439 00:19:24,380 --> 00:19:27,426 Unexpected, but appreciated. 440 00:19:27,470 --> 00:19:30,037 - RANSOM: Ensign D'Vana Tendi. - Oh, my gosh! What? No way! 441 00:19:30,081 --> 00:19:31,691 [others cheering] 442 00:19:31,735 --> 00:19:34,607 Thank you, sir. Guys, I got a pip! 443 00:19:34,651 --> 00:19:36,740 All right, that's what I'm talking about. 444 00:19:36,783 --> 00:19:40,352 My main objective here is to prove to the High Council 445 00:19:40,396 --> 00:19:42,746 that I should be reinstated to the Vulcan fleet. 446 00:19:42,789 --> 00:19:44,530 But after today, 447 00:19:44,574 --> 00:19:46,924 I have grown to respect your skills as a scientist. 448 00:19:46,967 --> 00:19:49,535 I'm so excited we got promoted together. 449 00:19:49,579 --> 00:19:52,364 Now we really can be best science friends. 450 00:19:52,408 --> 00:19:55,193 That is not the lesson to take from this moment. 451 00:19:55,237 --> 00:19:58,501 Damn, looks like half of Beta shift will be ensigns no more. 452 00:19:58,544 --> 00:20:00,154 Ooh, let's hit the bar and celebrate. 453 00:20:00,198 --> 00:20:02,679 And, finally, Ensign Beckett Mariner. 454 00:20:02,722 --> 00:20:04,071 - Wait, wh-what? - [gasps] 455 00:20:04,115 --> 00:20:05,508 - [applause] - [laughs] 456 00:20:05,551 --> 00:20:07,466 Sir, I... No, this has to be a mistake. 457 00:20:07,510 --> 00:20:09,555 Congratulations, Lieutenant. 458 00:20:14,995 --> 00:20:16,780 - [door chimes] - Yo, yo. 459 00:20:16,823 --> 00:20:18,434 Sir, this is wrong. 460 00:20:18,477 --> 00:20:20,087 I don't want to get promoted. 461 00:20:20,131 --> 00:20:21,524 I know you don't. 462 00:20:21,567 --> 00:20:24,614 Okay, then stop sliding it back to me and throw it out. 463 00:20:24,657 --> 00:20:26,180 Did you know Voyager's full of cameras? 464 00:20:26,224 --> 00:20:28,487 Came in handy when putting together the old mission log. 465 00:20:28,531 --> 00:20:31,403 I saw you help Boimler be the best he could be. 466 00:20:31,447 --> 00:20:33,013 So what? Boimler loves being encouraged. 467 00:20:33,057 --> 00:20:34,252 It's, like, his favorite thing. 468 00:20:34,276 --> 00:20:35,929 I went back and dug through your record. 469 00:20:35,973 --> 00:20:37,757 You've had a lot of small-minded commanders 470 00:20:37,801 --> 00:20:39,629 who promoted then demoted you. 471 00:20:39,672 --> 00:20:42,414 But now, you're with Jack Ransom. 472 00:20:42,458 --> 00:20:44,460 I'm twice as smart as any of those other guys, 473 00:20:44,503 --> 00:20:47,245 and I know you just need someone to believe in you. 474 00:20:47,289 --> 00:20:48,899 Consider yourself lucky 475 00:20:48,942 --> 00:20:51,249 that you have an amazing commanding officer. 476 00:20:51,293 --> 00:20:53,425 Sir, I am refusing this promotion. 477 00:20:53,469 --> 00:20:55,471 - You can't do this to me. - No, not gonna hear it. 478 00:20:55,514 --> 00:20:57,647 - You're dismissed, Lieutenant. - No, this isn't over. 479 00:20:57,690 --> 00:20:58,735 I'm not leaving. 480 00:20:58,778 --> 00:21:00,432 For real. I-I'm staying right here 481 00:21:00,476 --> 00:21:02,782 - until you listen to reason. - [grunts] You do you. 482 00:21:02,826 --> 00:21:05,219 - [grunts] Feel the burn. - [groaning] 483 00:21:10,486 --> 00:21:12,226 - Mm. - Yeah, I... 484 00:21:12,270 --> 00:21:14,074 I couldn't even talk him out of it. He's such an idiot. 485 00:21:14,098 --> 00:21:15,534 What are you so bummed about? 486 00:21:15,578 --> 00:21:16,729 Now we get to be lieutenant JGs together. 487 00:21:16,753 --> 00:21:18,885 [sighs] All of us except Rutherford. 488 00:21:18,929 --> 00:21:21,235 I mean, I did break Voyager. 489 00:21:21,279 --> 00:21:23,126 Engineers can't get promoted for breaking stuff. 490 00:21:23,150 --> 00:21:24,543 We always fix things. 491 00:21:24,587 --> 00:21:26,153 Shouldn't you be drunk and chanting 492 00:21:26,197 --> 00:21:27,633 with a fist in the air right now? 493 00:21:27,677 --> 00:21:30,593 Come on, no more bunks, no more holodeck duty! 494 00:21:30,636 --> 00:21:31,637 We did it! 495 00:21:31,681 --> 00:21:33,509 I know. I just, I-I can't believe 496 00:21:33,552 --> 00:21:35,554 we're not lower decks anymore. 497 00:21:35,598 --> 00:21:37,208 We're lieutenant junior grades, 498 00:21:37,251 --> 00:21:39,558 the least important mid-level officers. 499 00:21:39,602 --> 00:21:41,101 We do all the grunt work with none of the perks. 500 00:21:41,125 --> 00:21:42,474 We're still lower decks. 501 00:21:42,518 --> 00:21:44,911 Yeah, maybe you're right, and-and, hey, 502 00:21:44,955 --> 00:21:47,523 maybe from now on, our lives will be a lot easier. All right. 503 00:21:47,566 --> 00:21:48,846 MARINER and BOIMLER: Lower decks! 504 00:21:48,872 --> 00:21:50,830 ALL: Lower decks! Lower decks! 505 00:21:50,874 --> 00:21:52,397 - Lower decks! - Come on, T'Lyn. 506 00:21:52,441 --> 00:21:54,878 Lower decks! Lower decks! 507 00:21:54,921 --> 00:21:56,464 - [chanting continues] - TENDI: This is going to be great! 508 00:21:56,488 --> 00:21:59,622 New jobs and no mysterious threats to get in our way. 509 00:21:59,665 --> 00:22:00,785 GROUP: No mysterious threats! 510 00:22:11,721 --> 00:22:12,983 [groans] 511 00:22:13,026 --> 00:22:15,638 Cease that nervous honing and let me sleep. 512 00:22:15,681 --> 00:22:17,770 I am not nervous. I am restless. 513 00:22:17,814 --> 00:22:20,599 Eager to ram my blade through my enemies. 514 00:22:20,643 --> 00:22:22,862 That's not a blade. It's a spear. 515 00:22:22,906 --> 00:22:25,343 A coward's weapon used to poke a foe at a distance. 516 00:22:25,387 --> 00:22:26,823 It has no honor. 517 00:22:26,866 --> 00:22:30,043 Nobody calls me a coward and lives to tell the tale. 518 00:22:30,087 --> 00:22:31,088 [grunts] 519 00:22:31,131 --> 00:22:33,569 [both grunt] 520 00:22:33,612 --> 00:22:35,005 Are you free for lunch today? 521 00:22:35,048 --> 00:22:37,573 They are serving eyes or hearts or something. 522 00:22:37,616 --> 00:22:39,226 [sighs] I cannot make it. 523 00:22:39,270 --> 00:22:42,665 The captain has ordered me to sit with Commander Vekras 524 00:22:42,708 --> 00:22:45,363 and transcribe his tedious battle tales. 525 00:22:45,407 --> 00:22:46,930 It is a waste of time. 526 00:22:46,973 --> 00:22:50,237 Ma'ah lucked his way into that captain's chair. 527 00:22:50,281 --> 00:22:52,326 He forgets who his true allies are. 528 00:22:52,370 --> 00:22:54,807 He won't be captain much longer. 529 00:22:54,851 --> 00:22:56,461 - [alarm blaring] - [both gasp] 530 00:22:56,505 --> 00:22:59,638 We are in battle. Who was wrong to sharpen their spear now? 531 00:22:59,682 --> 00:23:00,770 [grunts] 532 00:23:00,813 --> 00:23:02,728 ? 533 00:23:06,602 --> 00:23:09,300 I read one life sign on board, Captain. 534 00:23:09,343 --> 00:23:12,303 Unknown vessel, you have drifted into Klingon space. 535 00:23:12,346 --> 00:23:13,652 Identify yourself. 536 00:23:17,264 --> 00:23:19,179 No response. Should we fire on them? 537 00:23:19,223 --> 00:23:22,705 We gain no honor in destroying an incapacitated ship. 538 00:23:22,748 --> 00:23:25,185 Mark their location and resume our course to Qo'noS. 539 00:23:25,229 --> 00:23:27,971 Sir, it's moving. 540 00:23:29,059 --> 00:23:30,495 KEY'LOR: They're charging weapons. 541 00:23:30,539 --> 00:23:32,062 Destroy those qoHpu'. 542 00:23:32,105 --> 00:23:34,020 I said fire. 543 00:23:34,064 --> 00:23:35,215 I'm trying, but weapons are down. 544 00:23:35,239 --> 00:23:36,196 What? 545 00:23:36,240 --> 00:23:37,763 All systems are losing power. 546 00:23:37,807 --> 00:23:38,808 That's impossible. 547 00:23:42,159 --> 00:23:44,074 [all scream] 548 00:23:58,175 --> 00:24:01,178 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 549 00:24:47,311 --> 00:24:48,747 [man imitates weapons firing] 550 00:24:50,749 --> 00:24:51,750 Chirp. 551 00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:56,350 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0